Bullshit interview questions and other general nonsense floating in my head at 1:34 AM

by Rich DeMatteo on June 9, 2011 · 8 comments

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I began writing this at 1:34 AM, but I’m certain you put that together when reading the blog post title.

A ton is happening up in my head right now.  Some of it is job search/recruiting related.  Most of it is random.  A portion is kinda like ‘holy shit, I turn 28 on Sunday’.  And the last part is just dead space in my head.

Let’s explore my thoughts…

Some Random Thoughts

I’m in a wedding this weekend and I’m really excited.  I still hate house centipedes.  Donald Glover is beyond talented, and you should think so too.  My left foot is bare, while my right foot has a black sock on.  I don’t know where my other sock is.  My birthday is on Sunday and I turn halfway to 56.  I should probably find a girl worth girlfriending sometime soon.

Found my other sock.

It was under my really creaky, really uncomfortable computer desk chair.  I used to brag about this chair.  It used to be so comfortable, but 9 months of 10+ hours per day of ass sitting has completely washed away its full cushion feeling.  Shit.

I’m hungry.  I miss metabolism.  Writing out my thoughts just makes me want brownies with ice cream.

Rather than go to a diner by myself, I’ll carry on, finish this post, and head to bed.

 

Bullshit Interview Questions

We can all point out painfully pointless bullshit interview question.  Examples would be asking candidates which fruit they’d be if they were a fruit or how many windows are in Manhattan.  You know what I mean, right?

I was once asked the fruit question.  I responded that I would be a banana.  Why a banana?  Because I love them.  They are delicious to me.  No, not because I’m like a banana, and once you peel the outer layer you get to see the real me.  That’s probably what they thought I meant.  If I really wanted to be smart, I would have said I’m a bunch of grapes, because I work well in a team and like people around me.  God damn, I hate that question.

Honestly, these questions just never work.  Some people may swear by them, but I’m going to judge anyone who uses them.

Thankfully, there is a way to stick it to the interviewer without being a complete asshole and losing your chance for the job.  Simply put, answer it so brilliant that it drives them nuts.  Keep bringing up information.  Don’t stop talking about it.  Drive them nuts, because if they ask you that question, you simply might want to reconsider working there.

Here’s an example of how a bullshit interview question can go wrong.  Side note, the interviewee and interviewer have a bit of a personal issue going on, but if you watch The Office, then you already know that…

 

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7 comments
hemp
hemp

I recently read an article which included an interviewers top list of annoyances that ruin the candidates chances in an interview. Things like Speak ill of anyone especially past employers make sense and are a red flag in an interview..Reading through the full list I was struck by how self-centered the post was to employers. Employers and hiring managers seem to think programmers are just desperate for a job. We have to jump through numerous hoops that are pointless and have nothing to do with doing a good job AND smile while doing it..Here are a few ways to kill your job interview that had me rolling my eyes Be unprepared Shake hands like a fish wear a suit Appear desperate. Keep in mind that each of these was not just things to avoid but is considered something that would kill the candidates chances of the job entirely..Do you have so many brilliant programmers walking through your door that you cant deal with a weak handshake?

SA
SA

Umm....28 is still very young! Still in your twenties think of it that way! I was once asked how many soap bars were manufactured for hotels in the US!!! My answer - I don't have all the information I'd need to give you a definite answer! Then went on to say this is how I'd calculate the total... I wanted to puke as well after the interview!!!

Suzanne
Suzanne

Was recently interviewed ..... I really looking forward to meeting with this organization. Had passed some of the humps already (Regional HR Manager and Regional HR Director phone screened me for an hour each) Met in person with HR Manager and she introduces me to what could potentially be my "peer" on the team. HR person with spiky hair like a porcupine who used too much Sun In and forgot the sun screen while she was at it. Pantsuit in a plaid that screamed at me so loud that I had a headache before I sat down. I should have taken my cue and left but suffered through an hour of RELENTLESS questioning. I was stammering (yes, stammering) to her barrage of questions. I knew she'd veto me .... if she would have asked me what fruit I was I would have said " Fruit? Why fruit, you're the NUT here". Egad. Thankfully they chose another candidate.

Diana
Diana

I love this! Ok turning 28 isn't that bad. I turned 28 a little over a month ago. The weird thing is that girls who are in their early 20s find out I'm 28 and say, "OMG you look SO good!" Uh, was I supposed to look bad at 28? Isn't that still young? Thanks. You just used the line I used on a 50 year old who actually appreciated it. Me on the other hand, I don't. And I loved that episode of the Office.

Aaron
Aaron

The fruit question (and the animal) question drives me crazy too. I always say, "Tomato. Because most people don't realize a tomato is a fruit, so with me you can expect something different." Then, after the interview, I go throw up.

Matt
Matt

Too bad corn isn't a fruit. That question would be easy.