Possibly The Worst Cover Letter Ever (Must See)

by Rich DeMatteo on January 17, 2012 · 49 comments

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There’s no other way to title a post like this.  The problem I’m having here is that no matter how close to the edge a possible title comes off, it fails to compete against the unexpected, and somewhat terrifying shock of the actual subject of this blog post — which is the Cover Letter soon to hit your eyes.

The following cover letter was received yesterday (1/16/12) by a Houston area creative agency.  Quick warning, if the “C” word bothers you, then I suggest you stop reading now.

The more I read this cover letter, the more it resembles a mullet.  The front/beginning is all business and appears to be professional.  However, you’re quick to realize by the middle and surely at the end that this email is quite possibly the most unprofessional and ridiculous job search document you you’ve ever read.

Initially, I would have bet my money on an incredibly angry and frustrated job seeker who had been burned by the agency in the past.  I was quickly proved wrong by my contact at the company.

I’ve never met this person, and I searched my inbox to see if I had any previous interaction with them – hadn’t.

The agency is known for being a bit different than the other kids on the block.  If the job seekers goal was to gain the agencies attention by ‘being different’ in their cover letter approach, then they succeeded, but not all attention is good.

I was appalled. As a creative agency that purports a “rebellious” and non-traditional approach, I’m used to irreverence and humor – even in cover letters. I didn’t find anything funny or clever about this message.

So, by now you are probably wondering a few things…

  • Yes, the job seeker is a real person.  A Google search led the agency to find their job seeker.
  • No, the job seeker didn’t supply their resume and writing samples as promised in the letter.
  • Yes, the job seeker really did use the “C” word, AKA the most offensive word in the English language
Believe it or not, this story is yet to unfold.  The company DID write back and ask for a resume and writing samples.  Why?  Well, I’m not completely sure, but if they are anything like me, then I’m sure they’re just curious to see how long this wildly inappropriate mullet grows.
Can a cover letter get any worse than this?  Would you phone screen or interview this person?  

 

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49 comments
debra byrne
debra byrne

well i can honestly say I would not even have requested the resume other than to know who not to hire. Rich I know you and would tend to believe you but i am hoping this is a fraud..

Maisha
Maisha

The mullet analogy made me laugh out loud! Definitely file him away in the "SPECIAL" file...or the circular file, whichever is closer!

Shannon
Shannon

I wouldn't contact this person because the cover isn't clever, punctuated correctly, and didn't include the promised documents. I'd have ruled the sender out before I even got to the "c" word; I find the double exclamation points more offensive.

MikeOxweling
MikeOxweling

The email was probably written to some dumb bitch. They're all cunts you know!

Karleen Harp
Karleen Harp

One thing that 15+ years in management and HR has taught me - real life is often more outrageous than fiction. This reminds me of a job seeker I saw on Twitter who links to his blog that puts down HR and the entire hiring process, complains about having to wake up before 8:30 AM, and YEP - is full, full, full of hateful profanity. Kind of makes you think, WTF?

Michael
Michael

Is anyone else besides me wondering what job agency he submitted to?

Sabrina
Sabrina

Wow. That said, I feel like I would have to bring this person in just to spend some time with her (or him) - but I think it's a girl - because it has to turn into an excellent story to share with friends. But seriously person, you dropped a c-bomb (and multiple f-bombs) in an email for in internship? Wow.

Terri
Terri

Whoa! Unbelievable! Can't even imagine the purpose for such vulgarity! On one hand I would not want to even consider this individual, however would be curious who would compose and send something like this. Incredible...

Beth Anne
Beth Anne

wow! There are times that I have felt this way and wondered if I said something like this or PLEASE HIRE ME! If I would get an interview. I however have bit my tongue and not done this. I would DIE if they send it back and end up getting interviewed and getting the job!! Can you imagine! HAHA

Harrison
Harrison

No way ... now that person has balls to dare do that. I was expecting this to be just another stupid cover letter. But wow. That's so bold of the person to even use the "C" word. Thanks for sharing Rich. I guess job seekers will do anything to get any kind of attention.

Tom Lindsay
Tom Lindsay

What disturbs me more than reading the letter is that the company wrote back for the resume and examples, instead of blacklisting this person to every competitor on the planet. Any kind of response here is just reinforcing this person's actions. This says more to me about the company than the person. It's wise of you not to reveal the company.

Mike
Mike

In this day and age the person will probably get hired into a job @$250,000.00/yr! Probably fits very well in the company of most executives that are lining their own pockets and "Flipping Off" the very consumer they serve!!

den
den

I don't know if this guy wouldn't be good for a particular job he's skirting for. I mean look at all the attention he's getting just for the ignorance of the output. I red a story once where a guy in New York was standing in front of ABC network with a broom. Every morning he was there brite and shiny all day sweeping the front of the door area, day in day out. One day, the CEO of ABC walked up to him and asked, excuse me, but I've notice for quite some time you're always here sweeping the front of this door area, may I ask why? The gentleman proceeded to say, well sir, I could never get in to obtain an interview so I figured I'd stand here and sweep the door area, hoping one day you (the CEO) would walk up to me and ask why. Can you guess what happened, the CEO invited him in, gave him the interview and the guy got a job. So as proposterious as it might appear and the derelic that sent off such abuse, he's undoubtably got all if this links notice, he apparently got the companies attention. So he/she may have gotten exactly the reaction they perceived they would get. Sometimes what we as the audience perceive as obnoxious, is what gets the attention we seek. Most of us would say no way, how could they, they have balls. Sometimes that is the type of people who obtain their riches in what they seek. Companies (some) may look at it as if they have the gonads to approach at that angle, give the man/woman a job!!! Just saying! :)

Steven Cruiser
Steven Cruiser

If you are presenting yourself in this way and still hoping for the job then it is nothing more than a joke.

Writingprincess
Writingprincess

Well it worked...they got the employer to respond and ask for a resume and samples...so as cover letters go it did its job right?

Lawrence Fox
Lawrence Fox

Rich: >>Can a cover letter get any worse than this?<>Would you phone screen or interview this person? << No, I would not. Absolutely, not. The letter is NOT funny. It's offensive as hell.If he is as he seems in the letter, it's a waste of my time. If the letter was an attempt to intrigue me, they I'm really rewarding bad behaviour, granting this sort of thing a legitimacy it definitely does not deserve. What kind of time-bomb am I inviting into my personal and professional life by engaging with him? Even worse, can you imagine if I somehow decide he's worth HIRING?

Amy Ala
Amy Ala

I agree w/ Karen - sounds like a hack job. Angry ex girlfriend? Pissed off roommate? Who knows... but that can't possibly be a serious attempt at landing an interview.

Steven Rothberg CollegeRecruiter.com
Steven Rothberg CollegeRecruiter.com

Maybe he's unemployed and required to apply to X number of jobs a week in order to receive benefits so he applies like this knowing that he won't get hired yet will continue to receive his benefits. The vast majority of people who are unemployed want to work. If I'm correct, this [insert your choice of an orifice here] is making the lives of all unemployed more difficult. For shame.

Karen Siwak
Karen Siwak

The jobseeker may be real, but maybe the email was hacked? Perhaps somebody left their computer on and a "helpful" colleague or roommate decided to be funny? It's the only logical explanation, because nobody, and I mean NOBODY, could possibly be as stupid as this email would indicate and still be able to tie their own shoes.

Mehnaz
Mehnaz

I'd call - if only to know what they were thinking and advise them against doing that again. As an employer - even in an offbeat company - I'd be worried about how they'll interact with my client to be honest!

Will
Will

I'd hire this person if my company tested condoms.. because he's a.. ya know

Effie
Effie

btw - I wouldn't be surprised if he can't figure out why his phone doesn't ring.....

Effie
Effie

If I have a few extra minutes in my schedule and am in the mood to be amused I would just call the person for 'entertainment' purposes.

Jon Steiert
Jon Steiert

Wow...people are strange breeds at times.

Rich DeMatteo
Rich DeMatteo

Hey Michael - wow, another person assuming it's a "he". The person applied to a Digital Creative Ad Agency in Texas, it wasn't a staffing firm. Thanks for the comment.

Rich DeMatteo
Rich DeMatteo

It certainly would be interesting, Sabrina! Thanks for the comment!

Rich DeMatteo
Rich DeMatteo

I can 100% say that in this case, they certainly won't be getting the job, Mike! Thanks for your comment.

Rich DeMatteo
Rich DeMatteo

You make good points, but sweeping up is generally seen as a good thing, and the "C" word isn't. Sure, they got attention, but the worst kind.

Rich DeMatteo
Rich DeMatteo

You do have a point, but I'm almost positive it was simply to see if this was a serious attempt or just a joke. No one in this situation really expected the job seeker to be hired.

Rich DeMatteo
Rich DeMatteo

Hi Lawrence - No, not sure it can get worse and you make some great points.

Rich DeMatteo
Rich DeMatteo

Good to hear from Mr. Levy on this... I do remember that story and you're right, situations like these do help recruiters out.

Rich DeMatteo
Rich DeMatteo

Hi Amy - yep, you might be right about it being a "hack job". Thanks for stopping by.

Hope
Hope

When I was recruiting I saw some "interesting" cover letters to, but none like this. I wonder if it was a prank or as Steven mentioned, someone who really doesn't want to find a job. Terrible for the recipient though :(

Rich DeMatteo
Rich DeMatteo

Hey Steven - I can always count on you to come through with an alternative view, can't i? So, you think it's a 'he'?

Holly @ Carousel
Holly @ Carousel

Just heard a terrible story the other day about someone inserting inappropriate personal information on another person's CV , which she proceeded to hand out at a job fair. So it's quite possible that this was a terrible joke by a "friend."

Jason Seiden
Jason Seiden

My thought as well... Heaven knows some of the crap we'd try to insert in one another's term papers back in college... Though then you've to worry about the company she keeps!

Rich DeMatteo
Rich DeMatteo

Hey Karen - I kind of agree with you. The company confirmed the job seeker is a real person, but that doesn't mean it was her actually writing it. Who knows?

Rich DeMatteo
Rich DeMatteo

Hiya Mehnaz! I'd feel the same about client interaction. I'd probably send a "You're serious?" email back before calling!

Rich DeMatteo
Rich DeMatteo

I'd love to hear how that conversation goes! Thanks for stopping in, Effie!

Doug Shaw
Doug Shaw

I'd love to know how you get on ;)

Effie
Effie

OK.... I guess I was wrong.... It's a 'she' (her) :-)

Effie
Effie

Hmmm.... I guess I just assumed it's a 'he'.... I don't typically assume anything but maybe the 'C' word through me off.... ?