I know why people die. It’s because they are stupid. Now let me tell you a story.
For a number of reasons, one being to watch Dexter, I went home to my parents house today. When the show ended at 10PM, I left to go back to my place. There was a lot on my mind when I was driving on the highway back, nothing all that important, but I wasn’t exactly alert enough to swerve out of the way if a deer jumped in front of my car. So anyway, I finally made my way to the exit and came up to the traffic light, where I sat waiting to make a left hand turn. When it flashed green, I made my turn and not 3 seconds later I nearly demolished a running man in short shorts.
Immediately I had three questions.
- Why would anyone run outside on a busy street at 10:30PM?
- Why would anyone ever run against traffic?
- Why was he showing so much of his upper thigh?
I’ll never understand why he wasn’t at least on the side walk, or why he chose such awful night time running attire. I think the dude had on a combo of dark green and blue, both didn’t do much to give away his presence on the road. Seriously, if you go running on my streets, I want you to wear something that even Heller Keller would notice. When I see you running, I want to literally say out loud, “What in god’s name is that bullshit”? Be a frigging UFO, because I don’t need the drama that follows killing you with my car, you stupid piece of shit.
So what happened?
I swerved out of the way, beeped my horn, and made that weird hands in the air/shoulder shrug gesture that all upset drivers make (which I’m pretty sure he never saw). I hope I messed up his breathing and ruined his run, because the experience scared the shit out of me. Stupid asshole.
I’d love to make this about recruiting, or careers, or HR, but that’s just not going to happen. This is just a rant.
However, I do promise to have a few goodies this week, all of which will be a bit more insightful than tonight’s post.
